Unless you are two-time Stanley Cup winning forward Sidney Crosby, you have probably never actually been to the Pizza Hut in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Not because it wasn't a fantastic place to get snowballs on pizza, or whatever it is they serve as toppings in the Great White North, but because it closed, sadly, several years back.
Now, I know what you are thinking (thanks to a deal I made with the NSA that I am REALLY not supposed to talk about). You are thinking: how do moths survive as a species, if, as soon as I swat at one of them, they turn immediately into dust?
(It is kind of weird that I knew that you were thinking that, right?)
But, besides the moth/dust conundrum, you were probably also thinking about why, in the name of all that is white and snowy, a Pizza Hut would just up and close, especially in an uproariously fun town like Halifax, Nova Scotia.
The answer, my friend, is simple. Probably. I just don't know. Might have had something to do with economies of scale, the sunken cost fallacy, exchange rates, a chimpanzee named Larry, and a lost bet that one man couldn't potty train a moose.
That's all just a guess, obviously. The chimpanzee may have been named Barry.
But, either way, the Pizza Hut in Halifax stuffed its last crust, burnt its last mouth, and washed its last red cup a few years back and some swashbuckler, presumably named Sam (but you know how bad I am at guessing names), opened a new restaurant in its place -- the proudly named Sam's Seafood and Grill.
Nestled between a Wonder Bread truck and a dumpster, in a setup not all that dissimilar to my own digestive tract, Sam's looks to provide quality seafood at a reasonable price to the good people of Halifax. Recognizability as an UTBAPH doesn't trouble Sam, who brazenly slaps his own sign atop the lettering of the former tenant in a defiant act of not really giving a shit.
So here's to Sam, seafood, grills, Wonder Bread, and a chimpanzee named Larry.
Any many thanks to our fair foreign friend Dom for sending this to us.
