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Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Country Biscuit Restaurant in New Bern, NC

Normally when an UTBAPH located in some Podunk town is submitted, I make fun of the little town, and, by extension, the submitter of said UTBAPH.

(Side note, you should really follow the link above to learn more about Podunk, then get lost on Wikipedia researching all kinds of useless crap until you get bored and come back to this fantastic site.)

I am going to waive my normal mocking tradition today, and for a special reason. This particular gem of an UTBAPH was submitted by my particular gem of a mother, from her particular gem of a hometown. 

You might be starting to see why this poses an issue for my standard format. 

So instead of making fun of The Country Biscuit or New Bern, North Carolina, and the lovely people living there, I will simply say that this is one fine UTBAPH. See for yourself:

I bet you can get some delicious food here. I, for one, love southern cooking. It is like regular cooking, only if you took away the real food part of the food and replaced it with something amounting, in terms of all physical properties, to fried butter. The only way to get the south to stop loving trans fat is if they thought that it had something to do with Caitlyn Jenner.

It looks like they stacked some HVAC equipment up there on the roof hump. Hey, have at it, Country Biscuit. You are the ruler of this domain now. Stack some more crap up there. Maybe a few of those old wooden console TV sets that, when they break, you don't know whether to call an electrician or a carpenter.

But I digress. I really do love New Bern, North Carolina. And trans fat. And wooden TVs.

Special thanks to my Mom, not only for sending this one in, but for being the biggest (possibly only) fan of this blog, and for, you know, my entire existence.