The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Did Not Used to Be a Pizza Hut

The Tonight Show, in all of its incarnations, wheelings, dealings, and disgruntled former ginger hosts, was never a Pizza Hut.

So why is it on this blog? That is the question that I had, when, a few days ago, I noticed some traffic on the site coming from NBC/Universal HQ.

Things got even stranger when, out of the blue, an email hit my inbox asking me for a few photos of UTBAPHs that could be used on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

Now, had this been Jimmy Kimmel, I might have slid the email into my "Wasn't that the guy from the Man Show?" folder and that would have been that.

But this was no Jimmy Kimmel. This was the real deal. The actual Jimmy Fallon's producer's underling's intern's assistant's helper was emailing ME!

So I did what any self-respecting blogger would do. I cleared off the rest of my calendar (there were some Pringles crumbs on it from dinner the night before) and got in my car. There were UTBAPHs to be photographed.

"Why not just use the photos that are on your website already?" you might ask. I mean, the assumption is that they only contacted me in the first place because, in case you didn't notice, I have the world's largest collection of photos of places that used to be Pizza Huts.

It has something to do with rights and lawyers and Google suing the pants off of Jimmy Fallon if he uses Street View screen shots. Fortunately, I am allowed to use these images on my blog because of a little provision of the law called "Fair Use," which, translated from weird legalese mumbo-jumbo, means that nobody actually looks at this blog and I can do whatever the hell I want on it, as long as it keeps me from acting out in real life. Or something. My therapist is not exactly a legal expert.

So here I was, on a road trip photographing UTBAPHs, like some kind of hybrid between a Hunter S. Thompson novel and a Choose Your Own Adventure book where you made all of the worst possible choices. "Ooooh, I will sit in my basement and start a blog!" *turns page* "Awww, now I am fat and unlovable!"

Anyway, I got the photos, sent them off to Jimmy and took a well-deserved nap.

Next thing I knew, the one and only Matt Farley, of Motern Media, was pounding away on a Yamaha singing one of the best songs he has ever written, with my UTBAPH photos showing in the background all the while. And then the Roots joined in going into the commercial break. And then I fell over and died.

Matt, if you are not already aware, is the world's most prolific songwriter. That is not hyperbole. Matt has written and recorded somewhere in the neighborhood of 18,000 songs, under a slew of different band names, each with their own style and back-story. The whole thing, despite being perhaps a little bit insane (this coming from a guy obsessed with former Pizza Huts) is really incredible. 

I got a few tweets and emails claiming that Jimmy Fallon and/or Matt had ripped me off. Au contraire. The blog had inspired the song a few years back, and Jimmy came across the song on Spotify and fell in love with it.

So that is how that happened. I am immensely proud to have, in my own way from my own little corner of the internet, been involved with the whole thing.

Now go do your civic duty and listen to every Motern Media song on Spotify or iTunes!

500! And a Call to Action...

WE DID IT!

Ever since I was a little kid, long before the internet as we know it even existed, I dreamt of creating a single-focus blog cataloging the current uses of former Pizza Huts. Call it a life's mission. Call it a waste of time. Call it a bald-faced lie that couldn't possibly be true. No matter what you call it, how much you doubt it, or how certain you are that even just reading this post is a complete waste of your time that could be spent doing something important like running the country (Mr. President... I appreciate your support of this blog but get back to work) or re-stocking the shelves of your family business that is, most likely, current situated in an old Pizza Hut, you must admit that this is the longest, most rambling sentence that you have ever read.

I can't even count the digressions in that last paragraph, but I digress.

The important thing is that we reached an unbelievable milestone today; one that would surely make my ancestors proud after at least 4 hours of explanation of the following topics:

- Pizza
- Franchising
- Food delivery
- The internet
- Tony Danza (but I digress)
- Blogging
- Podcasts
- Fox News
- Digital photography
- Google Maps
- Google Street View
- Not having to spend all of your time trying to find food to stay alive

Our work is not done. Nay, there is much left undone in this realm. Firstly, there are still 4 states that do not have UTBAPHs on the map. This is astounding to me, but logical when you consider that 3 of the 4 worst states are on this list:

- Wyoming
- Idaho
- North Dakota
- Delaware

So I am calling on you residents and visitors of these terrible states to get off your asses and, well, actually, sit back down in front of your computer and find me some UTBAPHs on the good old Google Street View.

Secondly, I am working on getting pictures of the UTBAPHs on the map, but many are still lacking. Many of you submitted locations with images that you might not yet see on the site. I am working on adding these, but I am always happy to add even more images to the map view when they are available. I always prefer images taken from devices other than robotic cars, but Google Street View works well in a pinch. So hop into your Toyota Tercel (or whatever it is you are driving these days) and grab me some photos!

Lastly, I want to thank each and every one of you for not having a job, or, in some cases, having a job that you are sure to lose by reading stupid blogs all day. You make me proud.