Church of Our Savior in Boynton Beach, FL

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today near the salad bar to celebrate the union of two lovely people, Geno and Denise. It is good to see all of the booths full, and even a handful of people waiting to be seated. I am told that the wait will be no more than 30-45 minutes.

Somebody, at some point, probably got married in an old Pizza Hut, and that puts a smile on my face. Imagine the happy couple, stepping out of the side door near the tabletop Pac-Man machine, having breadsticks thrown at them as they begin their new lives together as man and wife.

So, raise your red plastic cups for the newlyweds, and enjoy a piece of delicious, stuffed-crust wedding cake (the first topping was free!), as we celebrate what is, without a doubt, one of the tackiest locations to get married ever.

Gators Hot Spot Sweepstakes Internet Cafe in Gainesville, FL

I am not going to lie. My full time job of writing about former Pizza Huts is both low-paying, and, largely, incredibly boring. You probably have some picture in your head of a handsome, well-to-do, worldly fellow in a pinstripe suit racing from town to town as teams of yes-men with cameras quickly snap photos of UTBAPHs on command for the prestigious blog that employs them.

But that image could not be farther from the truth. In between heating Hot Pockets, I spend most of my time in the UTBAPH headquarters trying to glean relevant information from the thousands of emails that you lunatics send me about how the Pizza Huts in your towns are now Mexican Restaurants.

I don't want to sound ungrateful. There is no doubt that I have been blessed with the magnificent ability to barely make any money writing an idiotic blog. Not just anyone can get a loan based strictly upon the success of a blog. At least, that is what the guy at the bank told me when he turned down my loan request, forcing my family to move into the forest and forage for spilled M&Ms from last Halloween.

But every once in a while, something besides a Mexican restaurant makes its way into by inbox. Just recently, it came to my attention that SHADY DEALINGS WERE GOING ON IN AN UTBAPH. Dealings so shady that the police raided the place!

Now, I know that you are thinking about those overzealous police officers you keep seeing in the news, and you are wondering if they were just overreacting to something minor.

Nay, I tell you. It seems that Gators Hot Spot Sweepstakes Internet Cafe and Illegal Gambling Ring  LLC was (allegedly) UP TO NO GOOD.

It turns out that gambling on the internet is illegal. It also turns out that quitting your job and writing a stupid blog full time is not, technically, considered "gambling on the internet," despite what was listed in the "irreconcilable differences" section of some recent paperwork that I received.

So the cops found out about the illegal activity happening inside thanks to a tip from a neighbor, Adam Brewer, who runs Adam's Rib Restaurant right next door. Apparently the police seized all of the computers inside the establishment, mostly just because they had never seen high tech equipment inside an UTBAPH before.

You can read more about the raid here.

In the meantime, remember that if there is one thing that you can never trust, it is: everything in the entire state of Florida, except for our good friend William, who alerted us to this shady UTBAPH.

Tampa Luv Chicken & Waffles in Tampa, FL

Before you try to scrounge together enough taxi fare to get down to Tampa to check out Tampa Luv, I should warn you that this place has gone the way of the Dodo. Sad, too, because the reviews were pretty good, despite the odd name.

Sent to us by Wendy, this UTBAPH is rocking some serious trapezoids. Looks like the roof hump may have been lanced off at some point. Hopefully some alert reader can help us track down what it becomes next.

Vacant UTBAPH in Sarasota, FL

Quick, get Jerry Filipowski on the phone. I have an UTBAPH to buy. I did some searching around the commercial real estate sites and it doesn't look like this UTBAPH is currently for sale, so maybe it will find a new life and make its way back onto the site with a glorious update. But, for now, this sad specimen sits empty, reminding us of what once was. I can almost picture this thing all cleaned up and turned into the Used to Be a Pizza Hut headquarters. Not exactly sure if Mrs. UTBAPH would go for that.But, hey, better to ask forgiveness than permission, right? Thanks to Greg for submitting this one and, potentially, breaking up my marriage. 

La Parrilla Rotisserie & Grill in Margate, FL

First off, thanks to Napa Auto Parts for sponsoring this post inadvertently. Yes, we see you, Napa, and we are all really impressed by those dorky little trucks you guys drive around with hats on them. 

I am more of a Pep Boys kind of guy myself, but I mean, hey, hats on trucks. You guys obviously know a thing or two about car parts. That is a part I didn't even know existed.

But I digress. La Parilla Rotisserie & Grill in Margate, FL has the best of both worlds: A rotisserie, for that slow cooked goodness, and a grill, for when you don't feel like waiting 8 and a half hours for some chicken.

Not to be all over the place with this post, but I have to stop my normal banter here and ask you, the reader, a very serious question. Don't make direct eye contact, but see that guy against the building, just beyond the Napa sign? Is that Tubbs?

Yeah, I thought so too. Don't blow his cover. I think he is on a stakeout of some kind. Anyway, this place used to be a Pizza Hut. Sorry I never got around to discussing that more, but I feel like maybe you had already deduced that given your ability to put context clues together. 

Larry's Giant Subs in Jacksonville, FL

One of the better ones out there for sure. If you are going to leave the signature roof hump up there, may as well paint it as bright as you can and scream to passers-by, "HEY I USED TO BE A PIZZA HUT COME GET A GIANT SUB!"

Although, I think Larry might have been a little bit drunk when he hung the sign.