Sam's Seafood & Grill in Halifax, Nova Scotia

Unless you are two-time Stanley Cup winning forward Sidney Crosby, you have probably never actually been to the Pizza Hut in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Not because it wasn't a fantastic place to get snowballs on pizza, or whatever it is they serve as toppings in the Great White North, but because it closed, sadly, several years back.

Now, I know what you are thinking (thanks to a deal I made with the NSA that I am REALLY not supposed to talk about). You are thinking: how do moths survive as a species, if, as soon as I swat at one of them, they turn immediately into dust?

(It is kind of weird that I knew that you were thinking that, right?)

But, besides the moth/dust conundrum, you were probably also thinking about why, in the name of all that is white and snowy, a Pizza Hut would just up and close, especially in an uproariously fun town like Halifax, Nova Scotia.

The answer, my friend, is simple. Probably. I just don't know. Might have had something to do with economies of scale, the sunken cost fallacy, exchange rates, a chimpanzee named Larry, and a lost bet that one man couldn't potty train a moose.

That's all just a guess, obviously. The chimpanzee may have been named Barry.

But, either way, the Pizza Hut in Halifax stuffed its last crust, burnt its last mouth, and washed its last red cup a few years back and some swashbuckler, presumably named Sam (but you know how bad I am at guessing names), opened a new restaurant in its place -- the proudly named Sam's Seafood and Grill.

Nestled between a Wonder Bread truck and a dumpster, in a setup not all that dissimilar to my own digestive tract, Sam's looks to provide quality seafood at a reasonable price to the good people of Halifax. Recognizability as an UTBAPH doesn't trouble Sam, who brazenly slaps his own sign atop the lettering of the former tenant in a defiant act of not really giving a shit.

So here's to Sam, seafood, grills, Wonder Bread, and a chimpanzee named Larry.

Any many thanks to our fair foreign friend Dom for sending this to us.

Seafood & Chicken Express in Meridian, MS

Now here is a quality UTBAPH. I take my participation in the chicken-and-seafood-eating community very seriously. I have deviated (haven't we all, in weaker moments?) to other forms of food here and there, but I always find my way back to seafood, chicken, and the best of both worlds: the confusingly-named Chicken of the Sea brand tuna.

There aren't many places that cater, specifically, to those of us who prefer our poultry and pike-fish, our white meat and walleye, our fowl and flounder, our (I ran out of words for chicken already) and mackerel, but, to the establishments that do, I salute you.

Because, honestly -- and I am saying this as a person who may or may not have a combination of salmonella and mercury poisoning -- who the hell likes steak anyway? Thick, tender, juicy, delicious steak barely even sounds appetizing to me. What I am looking for is chicken and seafood, as quickly as it can be prepared while still (barely) being safe to consume.

If you are looking for the same thing, then look no further than Seafood & Chicken Express in Meridian, MS.

Submitted by our dear friend and fellow semi-vegetarian Steve Ross, the original floor-to-ceiling corner windows on this UTBAPH are glorious. It just feels like you could go and stand in that corner and look out on the world like a fish in a tank, waiting to be plucked from your safe haven, fried to order, and eaten by a grumpy fat dude in two bites. What a way to go.

If I ever find myself lost in Mississippi, as soon as I get done berating my travel agent and exhausting all other options for escaping, I will try to make my way over to Seafood & Chicken Express, stand in the corner window, and dream about a perfectly grilled filet mignon piece of chicken.

Domino's Pizza/Fish Feast in Gosnells, Western Australia

Some bizarre oversight in Australian Pizza Hut upper management led to two Pizza Huts being like a block and a half apart from each other in Gosnells, Western Australia. I, for one, am glad about this obvious screwup, because it gives us two posts in a row about two different UTBAPHs that are basically next door neighbors.Now, on top of that, we have ourselves a good old fashioned Western Australian double (nay, triple) whammy what with something called "Fish Feast" (complete with drive-thru) taking up a solid 1/3 of the former Pizza Hut (insert the knife) and a Domino's taking over the remaining two thirds (twist the blade). I say it every time, but there is something poetic about the Pizza Hut to Domino's transition. Were Henry David Thoreau still around, I have little doubt that he would have much to say on the topic.(For the record, I tried to find a famous Australian poet to fill in that reference, but ended up getting caught up laughing too hard about the Crocodile Hunter asking someone "What rhymes with 'G'day'?" to complete the search. So yeah, stereotypes of Australia are alive and well, in my brain. Perhaps I will visit someday to drink a Fosters and ride around in a kangaroo pouch to really learn more about the culture.)Thanks to Mike for the submission.

Capt'n Joes Galley in Murphy, NC

Pizza Hut and Long John Silvers had a love child, and named him "CAPT'N JOE."