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Showing posts with label Chinese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese. Show all posts

Friday, May 2, 2014

Rice Inn in Bethel Park, PA



Bethel Park, a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA, is the home to many great things, including, but not limited to, Rick Sebak, a national championship high school hockey team, and, of course, an UTBAPH.

If you are thinking what I was thinking when I first became aware of this UTBAPH, which is that it is odd to name a restaurant after poison, well, rest assured, there is no actual ricin used in any of the food prepared at the Rice Inn. On the contrary, the food at the Rice Inn is quite delicious.

Given the name, you might think that local news guy (and owner of the best eyebrows this side of the Mississippi) Ken Rice, of the Pittsburgh CBS affiliate KDKA, is an owner of the Rice Inn. But you would be wrong, as usual (although there is a rumor that Condoleezza Rice sits on the board of directors).

Yours truly hanging out with Ken Rice at the Rice Inn

Still, Ken and I met up at the Rice Inn so that he and a cameraman could watch my terribly unruly kids and embarrassed wife try, unsuccessfully, to eat with chopsticks and act like a normal family. Fun times. Hopefully they lost the footage.

Ken proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions about UTBAPHs. Questions like:

  • "What is wrong with you?"
  • "Aren't there much better things to be doing with your time?"
  • "Do your kids get made fun of at school because their daddy is a blogger?"
  • "Can you please stop jabbing me in the eyebrows with chopsticks?"

And I like to think that Ken learned a lot that day, not just about UTBAPHs, but also about why you should never try to put a socially inept, introverted blogger on TV.




Monday, February 24, 2014

Dragon China in Moraine, OH

Submitted by Danny, Dragon China in Moraine, Ohio is a great UTBAPH. First of all, Chinese restaurants love making it very clear exactly what they are, using a small, repeating set of words in their names (dragon, king, jade, garden, buffet, dynasty, rice, wok, super, China). Basically, pick two random words from that list, buy an old Pizza Hut, and you have everything it takes to open your own Chinese restaurant.Just to illustrate my point, here is a list of a few random combinations of the words above:
  • Dragon Buffet
  • Super China
  • Rice Garden
  • King Dragon
  • Jade Garden
  • Dynasty Buffet
  • Rice Wok
If some of those names look familiar to you, it is because I just named 75% of all of the Chinese restaurants in North America (the other 25% are P.F. Changs).The second thing that makes this particular UTBAPH so great is that they kept that original roof. That shiny, metallic-looking original roof is really going extinct these days, and it is good to come across a restauranteur who has too much of a sense of history (and/or is too lazy) to replace the roof.And then, thirdly, I love how China has one font. You know exactly which font I mean. It is as if the whole of China had a meeting one day and just decided, "This is our font. We will use it on soy sauce packets, chopsticks, restaurant signage, menus, and, yes, even video games from now on."

So next time you are in Moraine, Ohio, or, hell, even in Dayton proper, do yourself a favor and get down to the Super China Double Dragon Garden Rice Wok Dynasty Buffet. Or whatever the hell it was called.

Friday, October 3, 2008

China Buffet in Beverly, MA


The old "shingle over the red tin roof" trick works every time. This place is one roof-hump removal away from no longer even being distinguishable as a former Pizza Hut.

Chinese Hut in Toronto, Ontario


Wow wow wow. Keeping the word Hut in the name. I can't even begin to comment. I love the extra flare on the roof-line. For really just running with it and getting the angled neon window signs to boot, this is an excellent specimen.

Guarantee that whatever this place serves is way better than Pizza Hut pizza.